Annoyed...

Ok, so I'll blog more about the 4th of July later, but I need a little bit of time to vent really quickly. So skip this post if you don't want to read/listen to me vent. There is your warning.

Anyhoo, as you may know from my last post, I have been diagnosed with diabetes. Well after I got off the phone with the midwife, I called my mom and let her know since she would be my "ear's" at the appointment so that I don't miss anything. Then I thought I would try John on a whim that he actually might pick up the phone even though I knew it was the time of morning that he was about to start leaving the building for his route. He picked up and I told him that the test was positive. He knew what I was talking about because we had discussed this the night before for like 2 seconds quite literally.

Anyhoo, I told him that my sugars were high and that it would be safe to say that I have diabetes. He said to me, "What does that mean now?" I told him that it meant that I had a few appointments next week to make that I would need to learn a few things about the "diabetic diet" and testing my sugars and such. His response was ok, talk to you later. I understand that he needed to get to his route and that was probably one of the worst times that I could call. Oh well, I was super overwhelmed at the thought of what was going to be happening over the next 7 months and just wanted him to be somewhat supportive. He didn't even say, hey can we talk about this more later I need to get going.

So I totally expected to have a conversation with him when he got home from work. HA not!! Not only has he completely avoided any conversation about the diabetes, I was telling him of a gal I know from HS and she found out a month ago she also has diabetes (she's due in August though) and she has been in pre-term labor and has been going to the hospital a lot over the course of the last 2 weeks or so to stop her labor and such. I brought that up with John last night and asked how that would work since if my calculations are right, and I went through the same thing, that would put me doing that sort of thing in the middle of peak. Peak is blacked out and no time off allowed regardless, not to mention he works 12+ hour days and that's when he earns the most money throughout the year. We REALLY need him to work. He looked at me and snapped saying, "I don't know I haven't filled out the paperwork yet." At that point I looked at him and didn't say another word.

Right now trying to discuss this with him is making him more like a snapping turtle than a supportive hubby. I know I was talking to him at the end of a LONG and frustrating day for him but still, he really didn't need to snap. After all he isn't the one going through the diabetes thing and going to have to test sugars 5 times a day and have appointments at least once a week. I know he has to put up with me and he is doing a great job at that since I am more crabby while prego but still. I feel like he has totally checked out of this part of the pregnancy and doesn't really want to discuss the fact that I have diabetes. I might as well have athletes foot the way he's going about it. Totally not caring or at least that's the way he's coming across.

On top of that, I researched a bit until I realized I should stop because I was just making myself more worried than I needed to be, that babies with mom's who don't have their diabetes controlled in the first few months of pregnancy have a higher risk for nural tube defects, and brain damage. I would die if I was undiagnosed with diabetes before we got pregnant and that it affected our baby and that I caused the baby to have any form of defects. So, yea John doesn't even know about that so who knows.

Overall he is great though. I don't want you to get the wrong impression that he doesn't care because he sure does!! He brings me my food every morning because he knows that I need food within minutes of waking up and knowing the kitchen makes me sick (to many smells). When I do get sick, he runs and gets a bowl for me just in case and turns on the fan and waits until it passes then helps me get food so that it doesn't come back. He really is a good hubby and has taken on more chores and helped with Aidan (making sure he is out of his nighttime diaper and in big boy underwear before he leaves for work). I just feel like he doesn't want to address something that could be major in this pregnancy and could TOTALLY affect this baby and every time we try and talk it ends with him getting frustrated and snapping like the snapping turtles. Oh well, I can always keep trying. He has to talk about it eventually. Otherwise its going to be a LONG 7 months until baby comes out.

Thanks for listening to me vent and complain about my sweet (most of the time ;) ) hubby. I had to get it off my chest. I'm sure this will all be resolved by this weekend sometime. After all we have to spend the weekend together. LOL!!! So, look for a blog later today or more than likely tomorrow about the 4th!!! Have a happy and safe 4th!!